Tempers Making Choices Column 28 February 2004
By Darlene Benton
At one time or another we all lose our temper. But for some, ranting and raging is a part of daily life, either as the giver or receiver.
Lately I’ve listened to a number of people express their frustration with someone they care about who regularly loses their temper. Experiencing this behavior causes a great deal of stress physically and emotionally.
Part of being human is having certain chemicals in our bodies that get ignited into a “fight or flight” response to stressful and potentially harmful situations. Over time, the immune system becomes weakened from repetitive stressful encounters. Living and working with people who lose their tempers causes this chemical reaction in everyone who is exposed to it.
Our culture has evolved in a way that encourages haste and repetition. It appears people with tempers too quickly “fly off the handle” and are caught up in repeating this behavior without thinking clearly and calmly about situations.
I don’t’ watch much TV anymore but from what I remember, there were a number of shows where it was common for tempers to be part of the sitcom. Popular video games also go way beyond a place of calm with smashing and killing as the major part of most games. The evening news always has a lot of this too.
I’ve lived with a lot of tempers throughout my life. I also developed the habit of expressing myself with a temper for a large part of my life. But I chose to change that behavior because I didn’t like that part of who I had become.
I have many friends who remember similar parts of their childhood and its fallout. Some have gone to counseling for years to overcome the trauma from words spoken in angst.
People are capable of making great changes and corralling a temper is possible. But one has to see the value in not losing their temper, and more importantly, develop coping techniques that are necessary to quit just about anything from smoking to gambling.
The benefits of controlling our emotional outbursts are many. We can feel better about whom we are, be healthier and develop caring instead of dysfunctional relationships.
Anger management creates a more fulfilling life and furthers instead of destroys our most sacred relationships. To continue a path of rage not only destroys our spirit but everyone who touches our lives. The storms we release contribute to a world of war instead of peace. World peace begins in our hearts and manifests via our tongues and temperament.
Copyright 2004, Darlene Benton
For comments write: Making Choices, PO Box 28, Albion, NY 14411 or e-mail paradise313@verizon.net
www.darlenebenton.com
