Solitary Living Making Choices Column 12 April 2003
By Darlene
Benton
The number
of people we affect or who are present in our daily lives seems to correlate with
the amount of stress we assimilate. For many of us, the pressure of many people
takes its toll on our peace of mind, body and spirit.
My work
connects me with people I choose to be with, mostly on a one on one basis. I
savor this solitary life, allowing a connection from my heart to each reader
and client. There are times when days go by and I never leave my home, yet my
clients come, one by one, 10-12 hours a day. Then I retire to writing and
reading and get up the next day to begin again, enjoying each person in my
life.
Even my
holidays are rather solitary now. On this Labor Day weekend I enjoyed waking up
at my friend Cathy’s. She requested I begin instructing her in Qi Gong and Tai
Chi Chuan, a set of movements and immune exercises connected to the I Ching, a
book of changes. What a unique way to celebrate a holiday of former chaos and
commitments.
We first sat
and watched the blue jays, cardinals, finches and squirrels at the feeders. No
rushing around, just chatting and then exercises. We showered then went for a
long walk. Peaceful, personal and productive time together.
After
driving home and arriving to a quiet house, I enjoyed a lily I bought for a
celebration of spring and the sunshine through the windows. All was quiet. No
family pretenses or conversations about remodeling or new cars like I’ve
struggled with before.
Some people
have family and friends they enjoy, but many, like me, still choose to live
more solitary lives. For me, reading or listening to music, writing or
practicing some form of meditative activity or simply resting and enjoying
peace are all more important than social gatherings that offer less meaningful
interaction.
I’ve always
been a “triple A” personality, rushing, filling time and becoming. At some
point we all benefit from finding peace with ourselves. Places like social
gatherings, malls and meetings serve only to drain us instead of recharging our
spirits like quiet time does.
It’s a
wonder any of us even know who we are anymore because we spend so little time alone
with ourselves. Maybe if we paused long enough to hear the small voice within
our hearts in solitary moments we would be capable of creating lives of peace
instead of the constant chaos that exists in the world today. I’ve discovered there
is great value in solitary living.
Copyright 2004, Darlene Benton
For comments write: Making Choices, PO Box 28, Albion, NY
14411 or e-mail paradise313@verizon.net
